November 29, 2008

How to stop thinking - a semi-guided semi-meditation

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Trying to stop your thoughts is like playing a mental version of "Whack-A-Mole."

No matter how many times you hit the mole with a hammer, more of them pop out of the holes, faster and faster, over and over, non-stop.

There are other ways to relate to your thoughts than treating them like a pest.

One is simply to be kind to your mind.

And one way to do that is to notice that the mind is like the ocean — oceans have waves, minds have thoughts. Sometimes the waves/thoughts are no big deal, other times, they're turbulent or scary or fast… and then whatever is happening changes. No set of waves lasts forever.

If you think the waves are a problem and you need to stop them from being waves, well, then you're going to have a problem, because oceans have waves (and minds have thoughts). But if you consider the whole ocean, and  notice how it works, then the waves aren't a problem, they're just a little part of a big thing.

When you befriend your mind this same way — seeing thoughts as part of a natural process (sometimes stormy, sometimes calm), 2 things happen:

First, you get that calmness, peace, clarity and one-ness EVEN AS your thinking continues.

Second, when you're friendly to your mind and don't care if the thoughts are there or not, somewhat paradoxically, they don't come up to get whacked as often.

Think about the times you've played Whack-a-Thought and toss this question into your mind: "What could I do in this moment to be a friend to my thoughts, to be kind about what's happening in my mind? How could I treat my mind like someone asking for my help, instead of like a weed that needs to be uprooted?"

What do you discover?

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Comments on How to stop thinking - a semi-guided semi-meditation »

January 14, 2009

J @ 3:09 pm

"The Emptiness of mind is the ocean; the luminosity of mind is the sunlit ocean; and the unimpeded dynamic quality [of thoughts that arise] are the waves of the sunlit ocean. When we recognize the waves of the sunlit ocean as an event or situation which has arisen, it is not as though we are trying to separate ocean from waves and waves from sunlight — they are all three aspects of a single experience. The unity of these three aspects form the seed or potential for enlightenment. Together they comprise what is the very nature of pure mind itself." –Kalu Rinpoche

Steven Sashen @ 4:27 pm

Nice quote.

It's interesting that the "luminosity" comes from an outside source.

And, I have an issue with the phrase "pure mind." Or, more specifically, the word "pure." Not because of Kalu Rinpoche's use of it, but because of what most people hearing it will do with it. The connotations of "pure" (to Westerners, at least) include a pleasant feeling-sense. And, so, someone can read this and come to the conclusion that they should experience their mind as "pure." Especially after the poetic use of "emptiness" and "luminosity" start the whole thing.

Of course, without "pure," it's just a description of the mind… and it isn't as exciting to say, "anything can and does arise in the mind… that's what minds do." ;-) (or, to be more complete: The "background" quality of the mind is that it seems that things arise *in* it, and it has the ability to have ANYTHING arise in it… and what seemingly arises and catches our attention is simply the foreground… but foreground and background are not separate things.)

January 15, 2009

J @ 2:51 pm

Think totality.

Kalu's ocean/luminosity/wave is a metaphor for totality, of which nothing is outside.

So "pure" in this sense means "complete", "faultless", "homogeneous" — i.e., the totality.

And like everything else, "mind" is not what we think it is. Not only is mind the very fabric of space/time in which all arises, it is also all-that-arises. Moreover, it is also the creator of all that arises — the empty void of pure potentiality from which all arises, and to which all returns. And still it is more — being the ultimate, unknowable, mysterium tremendum itself.

It is only the limiting tools of language, interpretation, and understanding that lead one to misunderstand "mind" as "background" where "foreground" doth "arise".

In actuality, it's all totality.

February 22, 2009

Rasheed @ 8:49 am

Interesting and very different approach compared to what I've come across. I'll definitely give it a world and repost my experience with this approach!

July 30, 2009

barbara heile @ 9:04 pm

kindness always works for me. actually the first step i took toward kindness was metta meditation. i repeated that prayer over and over, and one day caught myself turning my neighbor into an enemy and it just didn't seem true. that was the beginning of it, and then i began finding the kindness for me, what i thought about me. for someone like me with an over used thinking path, the kindness started in the heart, and was indisputable. like my true nature!
kindness is a good meditation position!

October 31, 2009

Mark @ 7:53 pm

Silliness!

November 8, 2009

Ashley @ 12:43 pm

Hm, I do tend to think about my thoughts/mind as a problem and something to be dealt with as well as a destructive inconvenience…maybe not though? I have yet to reach to space between thoughts and I often feel "victim" to my thoughts as they have consequences that manifest in the world…not to mention I cant focus or be present at work so I haven't held a job longer than 5 months :( I could use some tips…or an awesome book (like a guidebook or something)…

Ashley @ 12:45 pm

I even find myself thinking, "How can I stop thinking?" Wow… Or think about how I can fall asleep so i can actually get some :P See what I mean?

Steven Sashen @ 6:35 pm

Hi Ashley,

Experiencing a "space between thoughts" is 100% optional… just like how some people are better at math and others at athletics, we each have our own propensities when it comes to meditation.

Here are a few fun thought experiments:

Check and see how much time you spend trying to "fix" your thinking… which causes you more lost energy, time (and probably money): the thoughts themselves, or everything you do to try to fix or change them? (for most people, it's the latter).

For the fun of it, imagine that you were in a movie theater and your thoughts, rather than feeling like they were in your head, were projected on the screen… but this screen is 100 yards away and about 12" square. Would it even be possible to be a "victim" to *those* far-away, tiny thoughts? Not likely.

I'm not suggesting that this is the way you should, or even could, experience your thinking. I'm merely pointing out that there are other avenues to getting to the goals we have when we meditate. And that there are other ways of meditating that may better match who and what we are.

To that end, I'll point you to the Instant Advanced Meditation Course at http://www.advancedmeditation.com. The "I AM Course" has 10 different practices — to fit different types of people at different times in your life. Each of the techniques can lead to experiencing yourself not as a "self-improvement project" and many people describe how easy it is to be present or focused using the techniques, even in the middle of working (or doing anything else, for that matter).

Steven Sashen @ 6:38 pm

I totally get what you mean! Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

For the sake of saying it a bit differently, "stopping thinking" is not only not required to find peace of mind, but it's REALLY HARD TO DO, and very few can!

The practices based on the idea of "stop thinking" were developed in, and for, places where you were totally free from everyday distractions. Even advanced Tibetan monks report that when they leave the mountaintop and come back to the real world, they're unable to meditate deeply, let alone "stop thinking."

November 10, 2009

barbara heile @ 6:32 am

i would like to say that the I AM course is a good one. Steven is speaking from a seat of lightness and simplicity that I feel is the only way he can speak about what he notices now, and now, and now. I would recognize in an instant that we are sharing this understanding, if we were to meet in person. He has excellent speech patterns to lead you to this understanding on your own! I would recommend it to you to listen to. My own path of years of vipassana lead to a big door of understanding that opened when i began doing The Work of Byron Katie. By myself at first, with pen paper and me and my thoughts.

Steven's I AM course rings simply true.
I like it.
He is honest.

My thoughts are no longer the enemy. It is a nice ride, even when the body feels like it can't concentrate, or is stressed in a car or, you know, whatever comes up next! I know where I AM!

February 26, 2010

firstfate @ 6:26 am

I just wanted to thank you… I've been fighting with this for decades. I used to hear everyone in the room, think about what they said.. about what I thought about what they said, calculate the differences while all the time being able to totally disregard the 'noise' and instead be thinking about what I wanted to DO next… suddenly I started talking… and talking and talking. I felt the need to calculate and respond to every new thought or intention regardless of how many people were in the room. I finally became overwhelmed and became an uncontrollable babbler. I spent years trying to find the perfect judgement of what I thought or did and against the collective perfection of those around me. Thank God you reminded me who I AM… and I haven't even looked at the sight yet.. it's just what I perceive. Please email me if you want… and my site in not spiritual. http://www.firstfate.com

thanks again ~firstfate

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