December 7, 2008

Music meditation mantra and me

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I have friends who talk to me about spending hours running marathons or doing triathlons, and my usual response to them is: I can't do something I enjoy for that many hours.  So it's somewhat surprising when I remember that I spent three days, non-stop, chanting Hindu mantras at the top of my lungs.

Some would call this Indian meditation music, or japa. Others call it just plain crazy.

What most people know from music meditation or chanting, lately, is Krishna Das.

I went to a concert of his with my wife and mother-in-law and let me explain the difference between his musical meditation and what happens if you hang out with a bunch of Indians in a small room singing for 72 hours straight.

The Krishna Das concert was more like music relaxation than music meditation.  It was like having a meditation CD, but in real life. In a way it was kind of like singing your car, but with a whole lot people around. Typically he would start off some chant and, after a bit, it would get faster and more energetic, and then either dramatically stop, or bring it into a slow stop. And what happens next is the mind's version of letting go of a heavy object — a sudden pleasant release.

But when you're doing yoga meditation and chanting for hours and hours and, ultimately, days at a time, it's a whole different story.

Just when you're ready for the music to stop and have have the relaxation kick in… it keeps going. When you're sure you can't say this Hindu god's name one more time, the music keeps going…  And you say it again. When you're exhausted, you put your exhaustion into your singing.  When you're angry or frustrated or convinced that this is the stupidest thing you've ever done, then the meditation music is angry and frustrated and you just keep going anyway.

When something snaps in your mind, and you become blissed out and you want to rest… the music keeps going.  And the meditation practice is to put everything, moment by moment, into the chanting, into your voice.

There's no way to fully explain this experience.  There's no free meditation MP3, that will inspire you to a sing-along for almost half a week.  There's no relaxation CD that will ever get you into the state of spent exhaustion that you experience between 3 a.m. and 6 a.m. with some mantra coming off your lips.

Now might seem from this report that I'm recommending finding a good ashram and preparing to have a week's worth of laryngitis. What I can tell you 20-some years after the fact is, I would no more recommend what I now think of as music meditation than I would recommend skydiving or bungee jumping or any other extreme experience.

It makes a great story and a fine memory, but I don't think a "spiritual life" and meditation practice has to be so hard.

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