Is meditation a relaxation system? I wonder…

When I was 18 years old, I met a nationally-known meditation teacher and became friends with him and his family.  One of the people he introduced me to was an American man who had been a Buddhist monk in Thailand for the previous six years. The former-monk had only recently left the monastery come back to America and started wearing regular clothes instead of robes, and was still trying to figure out what he was could do for his "right livelihood" — in other words, for money to pay the rent and buy some food.

One of the ideas that my friend gave him while he was figuring it all out was to coach Little League baseball.  I remember that we got together for dinner after he'd coached his first game, and he was shaking like a leaf.

"I got so wrapped up in the game," he said, "so excited, and so agitated about how well my kids were doing or when they made an error or if they were scoring or if they missed a fly ball.  I just couldn't stand it!"

Then he paused for a second and said, "I really need to do more meditation."

At the time, I wasn't what I would call "experienced" in the world of spiritual practice.  And clearly this guy looked like he could use some muscle relaxation, maybe a good relaxation massage, or a relaxation cd to listen to. But, that said, something struck me as odd: First was that he thought there was a problem with getting excited and agitated and the kid's baseball game.

In fact, I think I said to him, "That's what's supposed to happen at those games."

Second is that he thought that he should be able to put himself in these exciting, emotional intense situations and be as calm as still water on a windless day. I don't know why, but that struck me as completely unreasonable.

It also hit me that he had the idea that meditation was going to somehow cure him of what I thought was an imagined problem.

In a nutshell, it seemed like there was something wrong with this equation: I got all excited and now I must meditate and relax now.

It seemed to be that deep meditation practice would not be about becoming immune to life, but about becoming fully engaged with life. About not having a issue with the fact that you could get all crazy and wacky and excited when a bunch of seven-year-olds go chasing a fly ball.

I'm sure some people reading this might say, "Well he was meditating so that maybe the next time he would be able to just enjoy the emotional roller coaster of tiny tot baseball."

It seemed he was looking for meditation as an inoculation to future stress.

Back then, I started wondering if there was a relaxation  technique that didn't require you to leave your life, a meditation or relaxation system that allowed you to not argue with yourself when life wasn't doing what you expected.

I definitely didn't imagen where that wondering would lead me…

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